Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~ Zen Proverb
I remember clearly the first time I heard that quote.
It was back in my early corporate days when I was working with a consultant who was training a few of us to facilitate teams through their conflicts.
It was as though the top of my scalp was lifted off and wisdom came pouring in.
Suffering is optional.
Suffering is a choice.
Sure, pain will be there, but how long I choose to suffer with it… well, that’s up to me.
I actually have some control here.
Look, pain is a part of the human experience. It can manifest physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. We may experience pain through illness, injury, loss or heartbreak. We will always come up against adversity. And unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, pain is impossible to avoid entirely.
So, yes, pain is inevitable.
But it’s what we do with that pain that counts.
How we choose to suffer and for how long we choose to suffer, well, that comes down to us.
The narrative we create around the pain and the meaning we give it demonstrate our choices. How much do we resist the pain? How big of a struggle is it? And what’s the meaning we are giving to it? All of these dictate how long we choose to suffer for.
Think of it this way: There is a gap or space between the pain and its suffering and that’s where the power of our choosing sits. Resist and fight the pain, and that will simply amplify the suffering. Attach meaning and significance to the pain, and that will prolong the suffering.
So, yes, suffering is optional.
And, it’s your choice as to how and for how long you intend to suffer.
Yes, these were very wise words.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
